This clarification is written with regards to my recent misconduct.

Towards animals, or specifically, cats; or more specifically, the Flight Cat.

I refuse to call it Garfield to give the original character its due respect. It's my favourite cartoon after all.

On the fateful dusk of 25/2 I was caught red handed by fellow comrades MIW in an act of "abuse" or so they claimed.

I wasn't kicking it. I was just trying to sweep it off Flight grounds using my right boot since it refused to barge after I stamped hard on the floor; that really infuriated me because it, being a mere cat, was being rude with its indifference towards a rightful inhabitant of Flight.

Its fearlessness pissed me. I thought it needed a lesson for its complacency.

Injurious methods were out of consideration. Meticulously, I positioned my right foot, slowly inched towards its side, gently pressed against its body then gradually exerted a comfortable level of pressure against it to shift it.

I am sure I didn't even hurt a strand of its fur.

By parallax error, MIW thought I kicked it!

I don't blame them. They saw me throw sticks at one before during OJT. But that Northern cat was preying our most palatable SFI lunch in a most aggressive and disturbing manner; hello, undomesticated cats are supposed to scavenge for food by their own means, not rely on the benevolence of wasteful eaters branding themselves as animal lovers.

"Have you run out of things to throw?" was the classic quote born out of that incident, courtesy of Fabien.

And hence the lasting impression of me disliking animals.

I don't dislike animals!!! Neither do I really like them.

All the same, I treat them with due respect.

Only when they encroach the comfort perimeter of my living will negative feelings on them harbour.

Take the Flight Cat.

It overturns the Flight bins in its search for food. Leftovers spill all around. Sharp eyed mynahs gossiping nearby spot the trove of treasure, flock there, and help add to the circumference of mess.

What's more, the Flight Cat has recently become fastidious and is content only with a premium diet of chicken wings.

So after savouring, it sticks its nose and balances its tail sky high and struts away with the obnoxious aura of an ACSian.

And inconsiderately, conveniently leaving the calcium residues for Auntie Brostec to clear.

That's why I am not exactly for fellow Flightmates feeding the cat. You feed it, it leaves the bones lying, Auntie Brostec does the brokeback stunt of picking up the bones. Spare a thought for the spine of a 50 year old lady; all her suffering at the expense of satisfying a cat's taste buds! (Note I didn't use "hunger". If it was hungry it would have consumed anything edible!)

Not forgetting its midnight mews which deprives Flight personnel of quality sleep.

Tell me how to like the Flight Cat someone.

Let's have a BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL too!

There was a time when I unknowingly wore mini pants and happened to have a cute sister.

Probably the only occasion for me to be a National Champion in something - Chinese Current Affairs Competition. What now? I don't even know who S. Rajaratnam is until he is dead. Really is xiao shi liao liao da wei bi jia. (Little did I know I would become fellow librarians with 4th runner up Sengkiong on the extreme right!)

My policing days started long before being a RP.

All very fake smiles to conceal the fear of 'O' Level results release the very next day.

I can't wait to show you some NUS photos too. But gotta wait. Soon, soon.

Can do my Johari Window as well? Thanks! :)

The latest issue of 8 DAYS got me hooked- Back to School special! Some afterthoughts.

Ng Hui entered RGS with 258 and HCJC with 10 points. A near impossibility today.

Pam Oei said "RJ made me think about how lost I was. I felt I never wanted to be as lost as that again." My precise sentiment on HC.

Are Rui En (SCGS) and Kaira Kwong (NYGH) fine with being labelled Raffles Girls? I thought they were being misnomered. Rafflesians they were, not Raffles Girls.

Kaira Kwong chose RJ over HC because "it's the best". Hmm...

Yanzi went to SA. Ng Hui and Corrinne May got 10pts for 'O's. They weren't the better ones academically; like it really matters now?

Rui'en got AAB for 'A's, Kaira Kwong ABC and Corrinne May BBC. They weren't the better ones academically; like it really matters now?

The featured are all charismatic ladies no doubt (maybe except Ng Hui); would they have come thus far without a Rafflesian education? Then again, they weren't the "typical" ones with their comparatively mediocre grades.

I guess they were just born to be artistes, and at some point in life, did well enough to enter the Raffles schools, where they were groomed to be who they are today.

Go get a copy now! And check out Beatrice Chia whom I didn't mention above, she's cool to the max.

Now that I've just joined GOH with mainly unfamiliar faces I feel lousy to be revisiting a bad habit.

Of being abjectly apathetic at associating with acquaintances.

Yeah yeah anti-social.

I seriously can't recall myself being enthusiastic enough to initiate conversations with strangers in various stages of NS.

1st day of BMT - Listening to Chen Qizhen and waiting for somebody to talk to me; nobody did.

1st day of FDC - Pretending to read and waiting for somebody to talk to me and *surprise!*, there was this cartoon duck lookalike who actually bothered to!

1st day of Class 4 Course - Reading and contemplating to isolate myself for the whole course since it's only 5 weeks but fortunately wasn't inhumane enough to do so

This pattern is getting sickening. Moments like these are aplenty in future and now I am not seizing opportunities to change this aspect of me which I don't particularly favour.

I feel compunctious because I know egotistical resistance plays a part. A minimal one I do hope.

There is also the overbearing and needless conscientiousness about not appearing hypocritical. "He so friendly, must be want us to vote him for OCS!" kind of misintepretations are scary, a sincere chap may just get condemned for being the first to make friends.

So imbeciles like me will rather play safe and keep my mouth shut and let others roll the ball first. "He so anti-social, always listen to what Chen Qizhen, but at least he is harmless lah" type of responses will be most welcome.

The above, though, only have its relevance for BMT.

Time will melt the icy shields human instinct effects in the presence of strangers. A truth and also an excuse I often convince myself that taking initiative or not doesn't really matter since some day we will have to talk out of necessity and might as well we start communicating from then.

Besides with time creates common experience and arises issues worthy to be bitched about. Why go through the hassle of cracking my brain to think of common topics to chat about when I have barely met you?

Logical reasonings I hire for the sake of convenience.

Then I will feel loserish when some friendly chap attempts to strike a conversation with me. Like why am I always the passive party?

My appreciation goes out to such people. They sacrifice moments of being thick-skinned just to connect with people, to make others feel respected, or even, unintentionally, to pave the way for lifelong companionship.

They are the ones making a difference. And me? An indifferent bystander who practises initial observance and becoming later on too selective for his own good when making friends.

Sigh.

Hope this last year of NS can make me become a person whom I like better and can give more respect to.

I am one lucky chap to have the opportunity to tie a placard (wishes written on) with an orange and throw them up the wishing tree in Tai Po, Hong Kong. A fortnight ago, this custom has been modified to that of placing placards on a wooden structure below the tree, for the health of it and the safety of hopeful wishers.

There was one tree specifically for yin yuan and I failed a dozen attempts before finally getting the deformed orange and soggy placard up. Which explains why Valentine's this year was yet another inconsequential occasion to me. And probably for the next 11 years too.

Only during preparation for exams would I feel a sincere impulse for a jog in the park.

And only in camp would I ungrudgingly indulge in a novel. Which gives rise to the misleading impression of me in the eyes of my shiftmates as an anti-social bookworm, because matter-of-factly, progression of pages cease every book-out.

With other similar examples, I am not too sure if these are causes for worry.

You see, disciplined people jog because exercise is healthy and not because it is a means of escapism.

Likewise, avid readers advance anywhere anytime and not just when there is seriously no better business to be involved in.

A sloth like me only does such healthy stuff to escape from even healthier stuff, or when there is no stuff at all. And that sounds terribly unhealthy.

The only consolation at all would be that at least I benefit at the end of the day, heck the thwarted sources of motivation.

Living life like that can be quite tricky, and I am wondering if I am going to do so for the rest of mine.

Like purposely *choy!* getting confined in camp so I can read more. Deliberately getting stressed up so I will run more. Etc. Sounds nonsensical enough but may be useful for all you know.

Experimenting in/with life - that's what I should really do more often; ennui cannot get the better of anyone.

So you think roses are romantic? When they are in bouquets perhaps, not buckets. Seeing this at Raffles Place MRT just made me more skeptical of Valentine's, a day when this botanical beauty exalts its status from nonfunctional to necessary. Ambushing silly couples to be coined. Yes I may become silly one day but I think the roses look really ugly; schemingly awaiting 14/2, when it arrives competitively exhibiting their hauteur, only to emerge victor in a commercial transaction. Sigh.

Release of 'O' Level Results 2005

Pretty relieved when I knew of Dunman High's results; last year's was disastrous. And finally we seem to have won Nanyang Girls again, albeit on an unfair advantage as their ace students proceeded straight to Hwa Chong Institution being spared of 'O's. The same challenge is on us this year - through train programme has commenced for the better DHS students, leaving the mediocre ones for 'O's. Still, well done Dunman High! :)

Chu qi was spent with DHSNPCC CIs doing tuan bai at various teachers' houses. I can proclaim this CNY to be my best ever; like what else beats meeting up with so many Dunman friends within a week? Xin nian kuai le has never been more literal in expression for me, really. :)

Chu san was spent with 4B at Zhenzhen's, a repeat of what happened 4 years ago; just that then, we were 32 4B-ians. Today, we are 11 NUS, 6 overseas, 3 NTU and 2 SMU students; not forgetting the 10 NSFs. See you again this Sat to send June off! :)